Comments on: Bar Jester Chronicles 8: FPR Goes to Notre Dame

By: Brainwashed by Polet

Brainwashed by Polet — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 20:54:04 +0000

Somehow Polet’s boorish behavior is far from surprising. This is the same man that once “lost” every last paper from students in his senior seminar. Papers that were the final hurdle to students graduating in a mere 7 days. He never could account for his failure to keep a watchful eye on said documents.

One wonders how such a clumsy individual could manage to parallel park so superbly.

By: Anamaria

Anamaria — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:25:38 +0000

Thanks for the account of what happened this weekend. One part of it is clearly fantastical, however: I can’t sing beautifully. And if I could, you certainly wouldn’t find me singing the national anthem. Unless you meant someone named “Anamarie,” which must be someone else entirely.

By: John Willson

John Willson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:22:31 +0000

Plug in a few similar names and this sounds like an early meeting of the Philadelphia Society. I was never there, of course, but I’ve heard stories…

Russell Kirk once witnessed two young men conduct a “Firing Line” parody, with “Buckley” interviewing “Kirk” on the subject of growing high-grade hash in Mecosta. Russell, eyebrows high and cigar in hand, said to me, “This is certainly a jovial group.”

By: Nathan P. Origer

Nathan P. Origer — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:58:56 +0000

I’d like to take James’ whiskey-elicited proposition one step further: Let the counties sign treaties with foreign powers. Surely, the Local Black-Lace-Stockinged Guard will defend the interests of Genesee County, with Wild Bill K drunkenly leading the charge against the most foreign of all powers, New York County.

By: Nathan P. Origer

Nathan P. Origer — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:56:40 +0000

Bob, I shan’t say who amongst the academics vomited, but I’ll say that his name rhymes with “Mark Mitchell”.

Don’t even ask about hot-pink panties and Patrick Deneen, though.

By: James Matthew Wilson

James Matthew Wilson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:47:26 +0000

I thought my proposed reform would make the porch planks bend. Let me confess there was whiskey in the breath that inspired that proposal — not the proposal itself, but the proposing of that as of more immediate necessity than a number of other reforms.

By: D.W. Sabin

D.W. Sabin — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:38:12 +0000

One of my principle dissatisfactions with “The Porch” has been the absence of Transvestites in Fishnets but now I see that certain improvements have been made on this front and that the overall descent into the New Weimar can proceed apace.

However, in the future, when taking the name of Laphroaig in vain, please do demonstrate the better part of valor by typesetting it only in Roman Italic Serif, bold. Standards good man….standards!

And just so there is no mistake, Cheeks flies a derelict Cessna once used by unemployed rum runners for the piloting of Mexican Paraquat Weed into the Arizona Wastes while my advertising craft is a fine de Havilland DHC-2 Beaver once contracted by the Southern Pacific Railroad to hang stubborn congressmen from a length of 75′ rope in brisk flights over the Staked Plains as a form of archaic yet effective lobbying……”Antediluvian Lobbying” was the notation on the account books I believe. There is no mess like a Congressman aerially spavined upon the wide horns of a Texas Steer and so the practice was summarily discontinued. Current circumstances suggest it should be brought back immediately. Perhaps we could trail an advertising banner for Ms. Palin’s new book whilst we drag Henry Waxman across the tumbleweed steppes of West Texas.

By: Jeffrey Polet

Jeffrey Polet — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:24:45 +0000

Peters forgot to mention that one of the high points of the weekend was a bourbon-soaked meeting of the minds wherein porchers undid much legal mischief. My favorite recommendation was JMW’s suggestion that states be allowed to make treaties with foreign nations. Undoubtedly his constitutional namesake would spew like a sick pumpkin upon hearing such – itself the result, perhaps, of a guilty conscience born of his forefather’s misdeeds. Our James Wilson at least pays his bar bills, and I’m quite confident he has no harebrained scheme going on with Europe.

104. Puhleeze. I have a reputation to protect.

By: Bill Kauffman

Bill Kauffman — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:59:39 +0000

Wanda, sweet Wanda…A scarecrow, Peters, not zaftig. Always glad to catch your allusions to classic American lit, but please, JP, assure me that she was not an instrument of your self-pollution at good old Calvin.

By: James Matthew Wilson

James Matthew Wilson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:23:27 +0000

Some people tell me I can’t hide behind my daughter forever. But, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I can.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:22:11 +0000

Lest anyone think that the entire post is in jest, there really were a substantial number of FPR fans there, several of whom didn’t even attend the whole conference but were South Bend residents wanting to hear the talk.

By: Bob Cheeks

Bob Cheeks — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:54:09 +0000

Well, there goes the reputation of the Catholic wing of the FPR! Had Rev. Dr. Sabin and I been there to moderate the festivities things woulda turned out a lot more respectable…you betcha!
I’m looking forward to any and all reports from reliable ‘commentators’ who may have attended the bacchanalia. Particularly those comments related to the behavior of certain academics…such as, who puked in public?

By: Nathan P. Origer

Nathan P. Origer — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:21:09 +0000

Actually, the lace stockings were navy blue. Black? Heavens no!

Other than this trivial inaccuracy, the events of the weekend happened as the Bar Jester has faithfully recorded them. I affirm this, at least through the point at which I was incarcerated in the St. Joseph County Jail for a second time.

By: Mark

Mark — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:57:55 +0000

I’ve been waiting for this post to go up. “FPR groupie.” Priceless.