Zeus Avenges Krustian OffenseBy Jason Peters for FRONT PORCH REPUBLIC
Monroe, OH. In an apparent act of retaliation for offenses against statuary, Zeus, God of the Sky, has destroyed a famous Krustian sculpture.
Earlier today the “King of Kings” statue, also known as “Touchdown Jesus,” was hit by one of Zeus’s famous lightning bolts, in consequence of which it burned to the ground.
“I guess it takes a divine sense of irony to destroy a fiberglass and foam statue outside a place called Solid Rock Church,” said Monroe assistant fire chief Connie Flagration. “You want irony in a god, but this might be going a bit too far.”
Fire fighters are still searching the site, but it appears that no one other than Jesus was lost in the inferno.