May 16, 2026 was, for the majority of readers, a lovely Spring day. For those involved in horology or who have even a slight interest in watches, it was a day that ranged between chaos and farce. Swatch, the Swiss watch brand from the 1980s known for its flashy colors, partnered with Audemars Piguet (better known as AP), one of the oldest and most highly regarded of the Swiss watch companies, to sell a collaboration watch. The mass hysteria of modern consumerism got hold of this product launch, and the result was mobs and fist fights, pepper spray and police dogs at Swatch stores across not just the country but the world.
Scenes of utter ineptitude were filmed everywhere from Mumbai to Milan. I am grateful there are no Swatch stores in Pittsburgh or else the Three Rivers would likely have borne witness to similar scenes of madness. I was back in New York City for work that day, and I made a point to walk by one of these stores. While it appeared peaceful around noon when I walked by, there was a prominently placed (and likely frantically printed) sign next to the door informing patrons that the coveted collaboration watches were not being sold at that location.
One of the saddest parts of all this chaos was that the majority of people in line for the watches were not even collectors themselves but scalpers looking to resell the pieces for ten times their purchase price. This has become a trend in the collectibles and toy markets over the last few years, with everything from Lego sets to Pokémon trading cards being hoovered up by a handful of speculators to be resold for exorbitant rates online.
It makes sense why someone would buy something to resell it for a profit, but what does not make sense is why the demand for some of these products is so high to be able to command these prices. I suppose some of it can be explained as part of the economic malaise so many are trapped in, with the prospects of ever being able to afford to buy a home gone, any seemingly valuable piece of property that can be acquired becomes the next best thing. There is also the desire to hold something real in our increasingly digital world, where “Do Not Touch” may be one of the most frequently seen phrases on a person’s average day.
Then there is just the addiction to shopping and consuming itself, along with the sense of status it brings. I realize this is not a new phenomenon. I am personally guilty of getting caught up in the hysteria of a product launch once when McDonald’s, inspired by an adult animated show, released a previously discontinued dipping sauce flavor. The release of that product similarly resulted in mobs and police being summoned (meanwhile I sold the sauce packet I had acquired for $40!). Long before that product, there were the Black Fridays of the early 2000s which had grown over decades to become the quasi-religious tradition that we associate with the day that was originally just a chance for shops to try to balance their books by offering a few discounts. The scenes of soccer moms tackling each other over limited edition Barbie dolls was an annual communion with the Gods of the marketplace to be watched reverently on the nightly news. Only the wider adoption of online shopping ended many Americans’ sacred pilgrimage to stores while the turkey leftovers were still warm.
This religious devotion is particularly pronounced in the watch community. Audemars Piguet, the name which drew the masses to Swatch’s temples of commerce, is regarded as part of the “holy trinity” of Swiss watches, being one of the oldest luxury watch companies still in operation. Fanatical watch collectors will defend the use of this “holy trinity” term given the sheer quality of the craftsmanship associated with these brands.
While it is wrong to compare timepieces to the possibility of eternal salvation, these finer pieces of engineering are worthy of praise. They are an example of a craftsmanship and, frankly artistry, which has been ripped away from so many parts of the modern world. The Anglo-Belgian sculptor Fen de Villiers recently made an impassioned defense for craftsmanship on a podcast debate with several more conceptual “artists.” As de Villiers said, “In aesthetically starved times, the most revolutionary act is to actually MAKE something.”
In this sense, the person who wears a Rolex is more in touch with the real world than the person who depends on checking their laptop screen or phone for the time. I bought one of these luxury watches once, partly to impress a girl (it did not work). I have now worn that watch to multiple weddings and special events. It has born witness to those important days and will hopefully see a few more in my lifetime and beyond. It may be a bauble, but it is my bauble. Plastic bits acquired by giving another shopper a bloody nose will never carry the same aura as something passed down from a parent or grandparent, or something bought uneventfully, but only after months of toil and saving.
I suppose at this point I should have a summarizing thought, some hope for the future of how we might extricate ourselves from this mess and start to make the world right again. This time I have got nothing but a hare-brained scheme. FPR should launch a collaboration with Swatch to have our own line of branded watches. One could feature a pair of Clydesdales on the face pulling a plow, while another could bear a quote by Wendell Berry. With these watches would be included a complimentary book by Berry, Chesterton, or one of the other heroes of the localist cause. While I will admit most of these books may be disposed of immediately, a few might make it back to people’s homes, and a few of those may even be read! If just a handful of converts can be secured through this sort of partnership, then I say full steam ahead!
Image Credit: Hodinkee
