Now that I am a tiny cog in the great machinary of state, I get all kinds of insider mailings.  This in today, from the American Board for Certification in Homeland Security.  George Orwell, call your agent.

“[We] make significant contributions to addressing the most pressing issues facing our nation.  We boast a total commitment to our country’s safety, an extraordinary knowledge base, and an in-place organizational structure that delivers the highest quality certification and continuing education opportunities in homeland security.  … The CHS program exists to connect its members with a broad resource pool of expert professionals who are able to give assistance in times of need.  The primary objective of the CHS program is to develop a network of teams on the local, state, and national levels.  It is comprised of provate-sector member experts from diverse disciplines and knowledge perspectives who provide constructive information, inspire debate, collaborate, and …….”

It goes on in this way for all six panels of the tri-fold glossy brochure.  The picture that emerges of scared and mild little men, sitting around their local convention center with a coke and a cookie, participating in breakout sessions comprised of experts molding them into teams of business-speak Dilberts is an apt vision of the end of our times, both frightening and hillarious.  Shoot the wounded indeed!  Or at least break a few knee-caps!

Local Culture
Local Culture
Local Culture
Local Culture


  1. Cripes but when I see these la-de-da missives from the Federal Government, I am put in mind of the Great Warner Brothers Cartoon entitled “The Rabbit Hunt” where Elmer Fudd is out in search of his quarry and turns around and loudly whispers: “Shhhhh! Be vewy vewy QUUUIIIIEEEETTTT!

    Networkiness is next to Patriotness.

    Aside from the donut and coke imbibers, never forget the ever-cheerful “service providers” hovering around the program and grabbing fistfuls of cash in furtherance to the Great Military -Security Plunderpalooza moshing away in a baksheesh drunk worthy of Caligula at his Horse’s Birthday Party.

    The gift that keeps on giving, the former Presidents Raw Deal where the only thing we have to fear is not fearing enough. Perhaps we should base the currency upon it and watch that bubble blow.

    Your title sir, …perfect.

  2. i was so glad to know i am a militia terrorist because i voted for chuck baldwin, support ron paul and talk about the constitution (oh the nerve!) and now this…….we are 1984….i need to go vomit for a while……

    here is a secret message from big brother telling its guards to be leary of the bad guys…..

    sheesh! now i need to find a local militia to join!

  3. The German equivalent of “Department of Homeland Security” yields the acronym from which we have the word “Gestapo”.

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