Mary Vander Goot

Mary VanderGoot is a Psychologist, author, and teacher. She considers the Great Lakes region a great place to live except when it snows.

To Bail or not to Bail

  Recently David Brooks posted a New York Times op-ed lamenting an increase in “bailing,” which he defines as “flaking” on social commitments. The title of the article was “The Golden Age of Bailing,” although I wonder why he didn’t call it...

Mr. Sillypants Goes to Washington

In a folder of papers at my desk there are reminders of things to do sometime, although they aren’t urgent. Waiting to be filed is a copy of Billy Collin’s poem called “Child Development” along with a program for an event at which he read h...

On Father’s Day (With an Apostrophe)

Grand Rapids, MI Father’s Day is around the corner. I had to look up the term to see if it has an apostrophe. It does, and it has had since the time over a century ago that it became a day set aside for special celebration in the United Sta...

Some Thoughts on Leonard Cohen – Going Home

Grand Rapids, MI Leonard Cohen has done his last show, composed his last song, and breathed his last breath. When the news popped up on the screen of my laptop that Leonard Cohen had died, I reflexively pulled down the old CD and played “Ha...

Saving Church for Adults

Grand Rapids, MI Recently, in a posting entitled “A Culture of Millstones,” Katharine Dalton has lamented the too-colorful language her children are exposed to in church – words like whore, prostitute, pole-dance, and sleeping around.  Appa...

Not Hurting Anybody

At the film festival in Cannes this past summer and at the Toronto film festival in the fall, Nick Cassavetes brought to the screen his new film Yellow.  It is about a woman mired in addictions, haunted by scrambled memories, and living in ...

Dear Friends . . . or Maybe Not!

Several times lately I’ve opened my email and found notices about people who want to friend me, but I don’t think that means they want to befriend me. Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg and his buddies, what used to be a good old-fashioned noun is n...

The Right to Lie

If you must lie, measure it against your own self-interest and make sure it is legal, and if at all possible try not to do it under oath.